Panic! In Herre

What the hell, St. Louis? We had a storm Wednesday night and it’s the following Monday and power has just been restored. Is that crazy?

The power outage dovetailed into my nephew D’s first solo visit to St. Louis. This same week, one of his favorite bands, Panic! At the Disco (with The Hush Sound and the Dresden Dolls) were playing at our favorite local venue, The Pageant. When the tickets first went on sale, K and I had considered going but in the midst of our waffling, they sold out. D was able to buy a ticket outside of the venue the night of the show. It was 102 degrees outside that day and the kids were lined up down the street waiting for the doors to open. They seemed to be unaware of the heat. Looking at the crowd, we all noted a predominance of 13 to 16 year old girls. This must have been a first concert for many. D texted me when Panic! was hitting the stage. Seeing as all we had to do was sit in a sweltering house with no electricity, my daughter A was anxious to go down with me to pick up D when the show was over. I called K and asked her if she wanted to ride down with us and check out the after show scene and she willingly came along. I figured a band with one album wouldn’t play long.

When we were standing in the back of The Pageant with some folks ready to hand out promotional stuff when the concert let out, we were approached by a homeless man, who, no joke, looked like a dust-covered, human version of the muppet, Animal. You know, the one that played drums. He launched into a life is real rough right now speech as he attempted to straighten his severely crooked, but unexpectedly trendy glasses. I gave him a buck and then he launched into a “Are you from around here?” speech. How does a homeless person have the latest in eyewear? His frames were more up to date than mine.

When D came out, I asked him if he wanted to wait and maybe see if he could meet the band. He asked if the electricity was back on at the house. When I told him, no, the wait was on. The security guards were assholes, telling the fans that the band was going to eat and relax and then MAYBE come out for autographs. K and I got yelled by security at three different times for standing in the wrong place. One time, the security guard kept yelling at us and we were oblivious that we were the point of irritation. K snarled back, “We aren’t even fans!” How dare he try and tell us to get in line. They informed people waiting for autographs that they could take pictures OF the band but not WITH the band, they could not kiss or hug the band, but they could “high five” the band. High five? Is that the most retarded thing you’ve ever heard? Do people actually high five each other, besides maybe when playing beach volleyball? I wanted to yell back at the security guards, “Fuck you!” because I knew the teeny boppers waiting in line were too nervous waiting for their chance to meet their heartthrobs, but I didn’t think that was a good thing to do in front of my kid. The “high five” only policy dashed the dreams of the 13 year olds waiting behind D. I heard one of them tell her friends, “I want to kiss all of them, and I hope ALLLL of us get to kiss all of them”. Eew.

I noticed that the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, tired of reporting on the blackout, reviewed the show. I was surprised to read that they covered Smashing Pumpkins and Radiohead. I bet most of their audience has no idea who those bands are.

D got his shirt signed and we got some pics. He enjoyed the show except for the two opening acts. It is hard to believe that the members of Panic! are 18 and 19 years old. D and I were discussing this. He thinks it would be so cool to be them. He said something like, “I’d give my left arm to be them!” Then he one-upped himself and said, “No, I’d give both my arms to be them!” I said, “D, no you wouldn’t. You couldn’t be them without arms”. He said, “Yeah, you’re right. I’d give my left toe”. Yeah, maybe that useless baby one on the end. --J