A Point of Irritation

Now that I’m home I decided to be lazy last night and this morning and catch up on all of the stupid stuff that I Tivo’d over the last two weeks.

When K and I first talked about doing a blog together, I jokingly discussed a post that would be titled “An Open Letter to Pete Wentz” (bassist and leader of Fall Out Boy) where I would basically be telling him how I wanted to kick his ass. More fuel was added to the fire when K and I spent an afternoon with my 18 year old nephew, D, who also can’t stand Pete Wentz. Pete Wentz, there is a 30-something woman in suburban St. Louis and an 18 year old in Gary, Indiana who want you to go away. It was all a big joke and I felt a little bad hating a complete stranger. Shouldn’t I get angry about real things like the war in Iraq, Corporate America, the road construction outside my house that the city chooses not to complete? No, instead all my anger is focused on one guy. Maybe it all stems from the fact that he grew up in Wilmette, Illinois. He’s a “have” and I grew up as a “have not”, but I think by the end of this, you’ll understand that even if you grew up as a “have”, you too can Pete Wentz. K doesn’t like him. One of my favorite quotes about him by her is something like, “He tried to OD on Ativan for Chris sakes”. So once again, he is lame even in his attempts to be dark.

So getting back to the crappy programs I Tivo’d , guess who was a pre-show interviewer on the red carpet for the MTV Movie Awards? You guessed it, Pete Wentz. And did he suck? Of course he did. The other really mediocre moment in a sequence of many was a performance by AFI. I don’t know much about them besides the drag queen/punk style of the lead singer and bad music. K predicts that they are about to break out in a major way just like Fall Out Boy. Why? Which brings me back to Pete Wentz. I’m a loyal, longtime subscriber to Blender magazine. When I get a new copy, I like to read it uninterrupted, cover to cover. The 5th anniversary edition hits my mailbox and who is on the cover? Fall Out Boy with Mr. Wentz front and center. The quote on the cover from him states, “People either love us to death or absolutely hate us”. Well, at least he is self aware.

The inside article, which I did not read, had a little box listing “Pete Wentz’s Five Favorite High-Risk Stage Moves” that I just could not ignore. I have to document these because they are so dorky you won’t believe them:

1. “’Around the World’: This involves me throwing the bass around my neck and CATCHING it. Problematic when I get an amazing rug burn around my neck from the strap.”

2. “JUMPING off the bass cabinet. Feels great in the air. Can be a bit harsh when I land and all of my internal organs shake”.

3. “The ceremonial LICKING of the bass. Mostly it’s gross—rusty and sweaty (have your tetanus shot current).”

4. “The onstage THROWING of the bass across the room. Looks sweet when it goes right. Like watching a car crash in slow motion when it goes wrong”.

5. “There’s this move that Damien from MTV calls ‘the Electric Chair’. You just make your entire body SHAKE super-fast. One time I did it and my bass hit me right in the face. My orthodontist just shook his head at me”.

First of all, like AFI, style over substance. Second of all, doesn’t he take all of the edge out of all of these risky moves? I’m waiting for him to tell us that he eats a special diet before the show because of his diverticulitis.

When all is said and done, I do have Dance, Dance on my iPod, but I’m not proud of it.

I promise to write something positive next time. --J