Cheetah!

October 1st, and I am heading to the Fabulous Fox Theatre, to take A. and her best friend to see Everlife/Hannah Montana/The Cheetah Girls. I joked with a friend that I was going to take some knitting with me. I should have.

The tickets were A’s birthday present from us. The most bittersweet thing about the show was that I would finally get to see something at the Fox Theatre. Last year I had to give up my ticket to see the White Stripes with K at that beautiful venue due to a business trip and I’m still holding a grudge. I thought it would be a good first concert experience for A., since there was no chance of simulated sex or anyone yelling “fuck” at a Disney show.

For those of you who do not have a “tween” girl, I’ll give you some background. I don’t know much about Everlife except that the Christian band is made up of three sisters and a guy drummer. They did sing “Real Wild Child”, the only song I recognized, which brings to mind Jerry Lee Lewis or Iggy Pop, not Christian pop.

The big draw for A. and her friend was the second act, Hannah Montana. Hannah Montana is not a real person, but a television character from the Disney show of the same name. In the show, Miley Stuart is your average teenage girl living in Southern California, who unbeknownst to her friends, is also a mega-popular singing star that they all adore. How does she keep up this double life? It is of course all possible because her alter-ego has blonde hair and at school Miley is a brunette. Hannah is played by Miley Cyrus, Billy Ray’s teenage daughter. If you have to stomach a Disney sitcom, this one is palatable, mostly because Billy Ray plays Miley’s father on the show and regularly makes fun of his past musical past. Even on the show, Billy Ray is a former country heartthrob with a killer mullet. I know it is way confusing, father and daughter in real life and father and daughter on television.

On Sunday, the crowd went wild when Hannah took the stage. The poor thing was having a bout of stomach flu and had to leave the stage a few times but got through her set.

The concert was sold out, with a venue capacity of 4,500. When I looked around the crowd, I truly think I could have counted about twenty or twenty-five dads, and no other male attendees. I don’t think I have ever been in a room with that many females in all of my life. Who said The Lillith Fair is dead?

Finally, the main attraction, The Cheetah Girls took the stage. It was a high energy performance with lots of choreography, but I couldn’t get past the fact that both Hannah Montana and The Cheetah Girls’ sets were both void of any musicians with real instruments. Instead, they sang to a music track and what sounded like a vocal track was included as well. But by the audience's high-pitched squeals at an unimaginable volume, I must have been the only one concerned by this.

After the show, A. and her friend wanted to try and meet their idols so we waited around. A. and her friend got to shake Miley Cyrus’ hand. The Cheetah Girls were too busy to come out. The legion of fans waiting at the stage door was pretty daunting. It would have taken them forever to sign all of the autographs, etc. Standing with fans after a show, this was the most aggressive group I have ever encountered. Forget the kids, the moms were going to demand attention for their girls. One of the moms said sternly, “They better come out! They’re only popular because we buy all of their stuff!” That attitude made me want to leave. A.and her friend had a wonderful time, but I know that A. is more excited about the Panic! at the Disco show I’ll be taking her to next month with cousin D. I probably won’t be tempted to check my email through that show. --J