You Might Be...

OK, it's been about 3 years and I'm still checking in with a live journal site dedicated to Ville Valo on a daily basis. It's weird. I've never been so committed to anything in my life. Despite the fact that M and I got in trouble with the site for this post, the ladies at the site and I have corresponded about our travels for this band a few times in the last few years and it's not something I see stopping anytime soon.

Usually, I don't enjoy reading lists like "you know you might be obsessed when…", but when I came across this one on the aforementioned site, by the end I was almost crying from laughter. I pointed some of these out to my friend M, with whom I've shared few wine-soaked HIM nights and he added a couple of subpoints to number 25. The ones we have been laughing at are numbers 25, 52&53, 61,124.

Number 44 is especially poignant to me and M and J know this firsthand. As a fan, it was shocking to see pictures, interviews, and performances become increasingly worse. Thank god he got help is alls I'm sayin. ANYWAY there are so many other things in this list that are wickedly true. Sigh. So, ladies and gentlemen, THE list that made me realize exactly how painfully devoted I am.

You Know You Might Be Obsessed with HIM and Ville Valo When:


1. Tattooing the portraits of dead poets on your body makes perfect sense.
2. You know EXACTLY what DILLIGAF means.
3. In fact, you might even have DILLIGAF somewhere on your skin.
4. November 22nd is an International holiday and should be celebrated by all.
5. If you see anything with a heartagram on it, you either buy it, or resist the urge because your house is already covered in them.
6. Your favorite colors are red, black, and purple. And sometimes hot pink.
7. You know who Daniel Lioneye actually is.
8. Someone says Our Lord and you instantly say, “Oh, you’re a fan of HIM, too?!”
9. You considered purchasing a chicken foot.
10. $50 seems completely reasonable for a Limited Edition CD.
11. Your internet screen name has one or more of the following in it- heartagram, 666, 616, Valo, razorblade, sin, poison, redemption, or any other HIM lyric reference.
12. Getting Ville Valo’s water bottle at a concert is the equivalent of the Holy Grail.
13. And you swear up and down that it has magical healing powers, too.
14. You buy a soundtrack to a movie that you have never seen just because it has a HIM song on it.
15. You say, on a regular basis, kiitos and hei…and you’re NOT Finnish.
16. When sitting next to a campfire, you say “I’m so close to the flame.”
17. You’ve seen Mige‘s naughty bits. And not on purpose.
18. You would practically sell your soul for the GOOD pics of the Bam and Ville Huck photo shoot.
19. And then you would lock yourself in your room for 24 hours or so with said pictures.
20. At some point during the day, you find yourself quoting HIM songs, completely subconsciously.
21. You remember a time when Linde DIDN’T have dreads.
22. You became enraged that a teacher lost her job because of playing a HIM song in her classroom.
23. You have taken duct tape and a black Sharpie and covered a street sign with Dead Lover’s Lane.
24. It’s a religious matter!!!
25. You can’t recall ever seeing Ville kiss a girlfriend in public…but you have all of the pics of him kissing boys in public.
And hence: 25.1 You've discussed with a friend the plausibility it would be for Ville Valo and Gerard Way to hook up
25.2 And quasi-seriously over wine discussed entry points for fan-fic even though fan-fic is denounced while sober
26. Photobucket is your own personal HIM gallery.
27. You call your friends nidiots.
28. You don’t just have a Ville Valo poster…you have a Ville Valo WALL.
29. You know who Sylvester is.
30. Even though you may like Bam, he did NOT invent the heartagram.
31. The Tavastia is your version of Mecca.
32. You’ve given a microphone a blowjob.
33. And it gave you negative feedback.
34. You have made the Love Metal drink.
35. And you liked it.
36. You realize a tower is a PERFECT place to live, and now you want one of your own.
37. You have to have a blood test done and you say to the nurse, “I bleed well.”
38. At one point in your life, you have been in love and lonely.
39. Out of Ville and Linde, you know who has the deeper voice.
40. Your life since 1997 can be separated into the following categories- When Greatest Lovesongs Vol. 666 came out, when Razorblade Romance came out, when Deep Shadows & Brilliant Highlights came out……
41. Your personal mantra is “Life is short and love is over in the morning.”
42. You would die tonight for love.
43. You paid $35 for an empty Coke can on eBay…because it was designed by Ville Valo.
44. You started tearing up when you saw the pics of Ville right before he checked himself into rehab.
45. You wear a beanie even in the middle of summer.
46. You’re jealous of Bam Margera.
47. You see someone wearing a HIM t-shirt and find it a turn-on.
48. You know that all men think with their dick’s, but Ville Valo’s dick is different.
49. You had a heartagram cake for one of your birthdays.
50. And you almost couldn’t eat it because it was so damn pretty.
51. Just one look from his eyes, one look and you’re dying, because he’s so beautiful.
52. You didn’t throw panties onstage at the HIM concert. You threw a book of Baudelaire’s poetry.
53. With your phone number on the inside cover. (just in case)
54. You have a drawing of Homer Simpson wearing a HIM shirt.
55. At school, you studied ethics instead of religion.
56. You can recall basically every piece of Ville Valo’s wardrobe. Especially the leather pants.
57. As far as greatness goes, you compare Sleepwalking Past Hope with Stairway to Heaven.
58. Your idea of the PERFECT vacation spot is Finland.
59. You would happily accept an autograph from Ville Valo in sperm or blood.
60. You have crossed oceans of wine to find a HIM concert.
61. You find yourself singing “Like a wirgin, touched for the wery first time…”
62. You’re not addicted to HERoin, you’re addicted to HIMoin.
63. Your dog is named Sami.
64. Love Metal is considered by you to be a very real genre of music. (which it is, thankyouverymuch)
65. It’s been years since you went a single day without listening to at least one HIM song.
66. Your wedding vows consisted of, or will consist of, “In sickness and in health, in joy and sorrow, until love and death embrace.”
67. When the moon is full and shining, you refer to it as Dark Light.
68. During a game of tug-of-war, you yell to your teammates “Please don’t let it go! Because if you won’t let it, I won’t let it go!”
69. The first trick you taught your dog, Sami, was to Play Dead.
70. It’s not peace, love, and harmony. It’s peace, love, and VEGETABLES.
71. Every time you hear the word Venus, you think Doom.
72. You have been jealous of Ville’s cigarettes, because damn it all if you don’t want to be pressed between his lips.
73. You know for a fact that I love you is eight letters….and so is bullshit.
74. While meeting HIM, you blurt out “I’m waiting for you to drown in my love!”
75. Like myself, you took the actual time to write a list like this. XD
76. You have more pictures of Ville Valo and HIM than you do your family.
77. In fact, you have seen HIM in person more than you have some members of your family.
78. You made Ville Valo a birthday cake……and you live 8,000 miles from him.
79. While blowing out the candles for him on said birthday cake, you wished FOR Ville Valo.
80. You suddenly find yourself thinking about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer as dinner.
81. Your Mp3 player consists of the following- HIM songs, HIM acoustic songs, cover songs done by HIM, tributes to HIM, collaborations with HIM, HIM bootlegs……and Daniel Lioneye.
82. You bought the book “Finnish for Dummies”.
83. And you drew a heartagram on it.
84. On the list of places to see before you die is a certain sex shop in Helsinki.
85. You took your Rolling Stones t-shirt with the lips and tongue and cut off the sleeves.
86. You think that the footage of Ville Valo flashing the audience his abs should win an Academy Award for “Best Short Film“.
87. A friend gives you hell about smoking, and you calmly say “Smoking kills, but only love will break your heart.”
88. You fear for the best, and hope for the worst.
89. You’re asked where you are going to take a walk, and you reply “The Path.”
90. You wish that razorblades came with heart cut-outs in the middle.
91. You have taken pictures of yourself snarling at the camera.
92. With massive amounts of black eyeliner and lip gloss.
93. And you’re a guy.
94. You truly believe that Ville Valo’s smile is the ACTUAL cause of global warming.
95. You have pet names for Ville’s “pecker”. *COUGH*
96. For Halloween, you went as one of the guys from HIM.
97. And you’re a girl.
98. It’s been raining for weeks, your lover just broke your heart, your kitty just died…..and looking at Ville still makes you smile.
99. You go to karaoke with your friends, and upon singing a HIM song, you grab the mic stand, hop onto the speaker, lean back, bend the mic stand, and fall flat on your ass…..but you still looked wicked cool doing it.
100. Upon walking into a dark house, you think to yourself “I’ve got to light this endless dark.”
101. You know that there are two guys in HIM named Mikko in real life.
102. And you know who they are.
103. You made out for the first time with the person you liked while piss drunk, and then threw up on their bed……and felt quietly proud because now you and Ville had something in common.
104. Your friends now call you (your name) Valo.
105. Instead of OMG, it’s OMV.
106. You know that the beginning of the end isn’t really the end…because then there’s Don’t Fear The Reaper and a hidden track.
107. You want to paint the outside of your bedroom door crimson, so that when you are in your room and it’s closed, you can say you are behind it.
the peace sign, but you do use the live long and prosper sign.
113. And you never watched Star Trek a day in your life.
114. You sent Ville a rubber duck.
115. You know who’s milkshake REALLY brings all the girls to the yard.
116. And some boys, too.
117. Your favorite phrase is “the pot calling the kettle black”.
118. Gorgeous, beautiful, handsome, sexy, and any other adjective in that genre do him no real justice.
119. You get annoyed when someone asks AGAIN what Love Metal is.
120. You know ALL the words to Valo Yossa…..but you have no fucking clue what you’re saying.
121. You bought a bass guitar.
122. And you named it Rambo.
123. You know that the song Razorblade Kiss is actually about fucking.
124. You have poured beer on a hotel room bed for your homies….and then fell off the bed.
125. You understand everything that I have just taken 2 days to write….and you want me to keep going.


And just because I REALLY love me some beanie...
Please go here to see more of this list and to see what the lovely ladies at v_d have for you…-K