This Town Fleurs Me

Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans? I had stayed away from the city I considered my second home in college for about 10 years until last weekend when I flew down for a law library conference. I tried to walk the 12 blocks to the French Quarter as much as I could without melting from the humidity and noticed that it was so much cleaner, didn't smell as bad, and sadly, was more sedate than it had been a decade ago. As I crawled through the streets of the Quarter, I was not surprised to feel just as much love for it as before. I happily consumed the thick air, I enjoyed the people's hospitality (although I still didn't venture out alone after dark), I couldn't get enough of the food, I enjoyed the Cajun music down at Mulate's where I ate every night, and my eyes couldn't get enough of the aesthetic. That city has always made me feel alive. Whether or not it's a place I would want to live forever or just visit as often as possible, New Orleans has always been a "somewhere else" in my heart.

Here are a few things that made me chuckle while there.

• In New Orleans, there are FEMA t-shirts everywhere that have "Fix Everything My Ass" written beneath the logo. I find this hilarious. What I also find hilarious is the fact that FEMA can be used as part of a pick-up attempt. This happened to me in the hotel lobby. I was waiting for my co-worker and a stranger approached me and actually tried to impress me by saying he worked for FEMA and that if I wasn't doing anything for dinner he would be interested. OKaaaay.
• I had on a thin white t-shirt one afternoon I was in the Quarter and as I passed by Coyote Ugly a couple of guys started cat calling me. When I caught a glimpse of what I looked like in a window, I noticed that all the moisture had made me look like I was in a wet t-shirt contest. Great.
• I walked into a local art gallery on Royal Street and ended up in the tiny rear courtyard looking at paintings with a giant wolf spider and a cockroach the size of my razor phone crawling around me. Maybe they were part of the security. I can't lie; I was a little freaked out.
• People that think they're vampires still hang around in the Quarter. Bless their hearts.

I stayed at a lovely hotel in the warehouse district just across the street from the largest Convention Center I've ever seen and, unbeknownst to me, right next to a concert venue called The Sugar Mill. Tuesday night, after I had tied up all my loose ends for work and collapsed on my couch underneath 15-20 foot ceiling, I heard a bassline off in the distance. It was like when a car passes by with the bass turned up way too high only it didn't quit. I looked out of my window and noticed that the building across from me called The Sugar Mill had a bunch of kids dressed in black hanging out in front. I put my walking shoes on and headed out to check out what was happening.

Let me backtrack a little bit. Earlier that day I had read that Ville Valo had recently come to New Orleans, though how recent I don't know. Apparently, he had walked into a local artist's gallery and was so impressed with his work that he asked to use a painting for the cover of the next HIM album. So, imagine my fear as I noticed a number of heartagram t-shirts in the crowd. And, as a car cut me off heading into the parking garage, I spied a heartagram sticker on it and my heart sank. Could it be that HIM was performing right under my nose? Oh, the humanity! After launching a full-scale inquiry, I found out it was actually Killswitch Engage playing a gig with opening act Coheed and Cambria. I've read that KE's lead singer is a HIM fan so I'm guessing that this explains the heartagram presence. Let me just believe this, anyway.

When I walked away I passed a young couple making their way in the opposite direction. The boy was obviously a fan. When the girlfriend, dressed too preppy for the occasion, realized where they were going she asked, "that nasty place is where we're going?" I had to smile. If he hasn't already he will be making this "date" up to her soon.

So, I missed out on a night of guitar noodling and hanging out with fellow HIM fans, but I had a few days of bliss in the Crescent City. -K