It Means Tribbing, You Know

I was listening to The Point after work that night and the djs were chatting about upcoming shows and when one of them mentioned Scissor Sisters there was this pregnant pause that kind of put me off. Considering the djs it didn't surprise me one bit, but it will be a while until I tune in again. Anyway, I'll move right along here.

My mother, who once called me from the front row of a Cher concert to tell me how wonderful she looked after even more surgery, believes that everyone has a little bit of gay in them. She is the mother of a very out and proud son and a bi-curious daughter who brought a girl to her senior prom, so either we have influenced her thinking or we just happened to confirm what she has always spoon fed us: her rightness. Side story: back in college I had a guy friend who was supposedly in love with me and with whom I couldn't get enough of. We were inseparable. I brought him home to visit one summer and my mom pulled me aside and said "two things. Thinning hair and he's gay. He just doesn't know it yet." I was so shocked by her declarations. Three years later he came out. (In retrospect, the Madonna posters on his wall in college should have told me something) When I told her J and I were heading down to the Pageant to see Scissor Sisters she said "oh be careful. Won't that be dangerous?" I said to her "mom, it's going to be a venue filled with gay men, there isn't a safer place J and I could be tonight". Her response was "ach, I'm not worried about the gays. I'm worried about the crazy straight people who may be waiting for everyone outside nach dem Konzert. Sei blos vorsichtig, ok mein Schatz?? Und dann ruf mir an tomorrow and tell me all about it." (typical conversations flow in and out of German)



The thing I found interesting about the night of the Scissor Sisters was that it was just like being at my favorite gay disco on a Scissor Sisters themed night. Unless you were in the pit, most people around us were busy with themselves, falling over drunk, or just dancing. I think that where we were, J and I were the only ones REALLY looking at the stage. It was a real departure from our usual nights out. But, even after some time we couldn't help ourselves. We, too, started letting go and dancing.

I was not surprised that when we were at the bar, the man in front of me turned around and said to me "I'll get her to get to you next." I swear to god, sometimes I feel that if it weren't for gay men, I wouldn't feel special at all. There is a chemistry I have with gay men that I have never had with straight men. I have an inner Bacchus in me that I feel can only come out around them and I guess that's why. It's only surrounded by gay men I can truly let go, be as narcisstic as I really am, and be as drrrty as I know I am! One more side story about ME: as a freshman in college I wrote a paper arguing for same-sex marriages. My professor, also a medical doctor, years later treated my mother who was undergoing surgery for cancer. When the doctor recognized the last name she asked my mother if I was her daughter. She then went on to tell her that she often uses that paper as a model for her English 101 students to teach them structure and argument. The doctor then went on to say that she had never known a young woman who felt so passionately about this issue and how proud she must be to have such an open minded kid, etc. I will never forget the tearful phone call from my mother when she told me this story. It was the first time I felt like I had made her proud. The fact that my paper's structure and argument was a positive example was fine, but what she cared about was making sure I knew that I was the kind of daughter she had hoped for (oh god, that chokes me up just thinking about it!). Despite being the ultimate diva, she could be the most accepting and open-minded person in the world. Her belief is that as long as you don't hurt anyone you should be able to live as you wish and why not have a little fun while you're at it? When my brother came out to her, she cried with happiness because her son, who of course she knew was holding a secret, was finally free. It's that kind of acceptance I try to live by. Anyway, where was I going with this? Mom's great, I'm great, (hair flip). Oh, right- the bar. Well, when the man in front of me told the woman to get to me next, she was not affected at all. It took a good while for her to get to us- and as J said, we had to wait for opener She's My Man to start before we even got any face time.

I was surprised at how dominant Ana was on stage. I've only seen them perform on television and she always seemed somewhat in the background. This night she was in total command of the stage and of the audience. She basically reduced Jake Shears to role of frolicking stage nymph. If this sounds like an insult, it isn't. AT ALL. He gave the crowd EXACTLY what they wanted.

As J said, they opened with She's My Man and closed with I Don't Feel Like Dancin (IMO the best dance song of 2006). Highlights include Comfortably Numb (the Pink Floyd cover that at first terrified me, but now I accept), Take Your Mama, Filthy/Gorgeous ( a song I really dig off of their first album and one that was introduced by Ana to explain what "fag" meant), and definitely She's My Man.

Oh, the last thing that happened to us was this. I almost hit one of the glitterati on our way out of the parking lot. Through beglittered and glassy eyes the guy shouted "I LOVE YOUR CAR!" I rolled down the window and screamed "I LOVE YOU!"



I kind of expected that the evening would be entertaining. I just didn't expect to add Scissor Sisters to my still very short list of excellent 2007 shows. I give it an Unexpected. -K