If You’re Crazy, You Must Be Sitting Next to Me

I took my daughter A and her friend to the cultural fair our city was hosting today. We try to go every year and there is always good music and good food. This year as the girls walked around looking at the vendors, I sat down to watch an Israeli folk dance group. Two older ladies sat down next to me and began to bitch about the volume of the music. It needed to be louder. Then the woman decided to talk to me. The exchange went something like this:

Lady (with strong Jersey accent) – Don’t you think the music needs to be turned up?
Me – No, actually I think it’s quite loud.
Lady – Oh (annoyed with me)
Lady – Did you see the belly dancers perform?
Me – No, they’re usually good though. I’m sorry I missed them.
Lady (inappropriately outraged) – Well, of course they are! They’re professionals, not like this group of working people who just gather at night to do this stuff (pointing at the Israeli folk dance group).
Me – No response.
Lady – Ugh, it’s hard for women to get men to do this kind of dancing (again looking at the Israeli folk dance group). They must be gay or the wives just drag their husbands.
Me – No response.

I guess when you are older at some point you decide to say whatever the hell you want. It was cracking me up. She finally got up and left when the group began dancing to some Israeli hip-hop music, which I thought would suck, but actually was pretty good. At that moment, any kid in the place that seemed disinterested in Israeli folk dance suddenly turned and paid attention to the stage. --J

Conference Playlist

Imagine, if you will, spending a week in a beautiful hotel in Colorado Springs for an annual conference. The environment is gorgeous and your clients are some of your favorite people yet you can't really sleep and your skin is so dry that you choose to not shower but every other day just to feel normal. When I wasn't running around meeting with clients and wondering if I was allergic to the hotel I was standing on my balcony looking at the radar towers of NORAD and dreaming of disappearing in the mountains.
I'm going to skip over all the tedious work details of the week and focus on the music. First, we have the party. The conference usually concludes with a party that in the past has generated the best stories. Immortalization at this company is guaranteed for you if you've gone overboard at the party. This year we were all pretty low key, but I did two-step with a customer, which was extremely unexpected. It also could have been dangerous since I had been drinking wine and I'm notoriously clumsy when I'm drinking. Anyway, at some point, the dj announced that [enter my name here] must stay on the dance floor for a two-step and that my partner's identity would be revealed in a few seconds. The floor cleared and I stood there and saw one of my clients from California walking towards me. We two-stepped to Brooks & Dunn's "Boot Scoot Boogie." Later, he and I paired up again during a disco classic. It was a lot of fun. One of my favorite moments was when practically EVERYONE was on the dance floor dancing to Sister Sledge's 'We Are Family." It was an evening filled with laughter and sentimentality. I wanted to hold onto it for as long as possible.
All seriousness aside, it was also an evening during which I discovered that one of my coworker's knows the all the lyrics to "Ice Ice Baby". I must say that was a little surprising.
The evening ended with J and me both noticing a beautiful half moon rising over the mountain and a decision to grab one more bottle of wine before calling it a night.
Finally, I wanted to publish my conference playlist. In our rooms we had iPod attachments to the clock radio so I was able to listen to this music during my off times. Don't be scared. I sometimes pepper my playlists with indie songs. This time it's the dominant genre. I'm not subconsciously mourning the loss of The OC, though I think I will miss it. I'll be wearing Scandinavian leather again as soon as it turns warm. -K

Nothin' No - David Vandervelde
There is something very Marc Bolan about this Chicagoan's voice. That plus the guitar in this song makes it a gorgeous throwback to glam rock. Where is my mandrax and feather boa?

One Night Only (disco version) - Dreamgirls soundtrack
I love disco. I do.

On Call - Kings of Leon
J and I decided that we would have a moratorium on each other's bands this year since both are coming out with new albums and promised each other to listen with open minds. This year I've promised to be open minded about Kings of Leon's latest coming out soon. I don't know if it's the ambience or if it's just a really good song, but I liked this one the first time I heard it.

Flathead - The Fratellis
Love this song. But, I foresee me being totally sick of it soon.

Albion - Babyshambles
It's too bad that Pete Doherty's personal struggle with drugs has made him such a tragicomic figure. After watching a documentary on him I've come to realize that there is a lot of good music coming out of this guy's mind. He's a fool, but he's a fool that represents human weakness in an unexpectedly identifiable way.

U+Ur Hand - P!nk
Hell yes. P!nk will kick ur ass.

Smile - Lily Allen
There's just something about this song that I can't get out of my head. It's got an easy feeling to it.

Number 1 - Goldfrapp
Sexy, sexy, sexy woman, that Allison Goldfrapp.

Up the Bracket - The Libertines
This is just good brit rock. The Libertines was Pete's first successful attempt at putting a band together. Too bad it all fell apart.

Do the Whirlwind - Architecture in Helsinki
This is an odd inclusion, I know. It's very ambient/techno but melodic as well.

Chips Ahoy! - The Hold Steady
These guys have a lot of buzz surrounding them, but I hope they keep their local band sound. There's something very unpretentious about their sound that can be so rare in the indie scene.

Come Pick Me Up - Ryan Adams
I haven’t listened to too much of his music, but these lyrics are so longing. I can't get enough of this song.

Yankee Go Home - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
I could not listen to the lead singer Alec Ounsworth's voice for too many songs in a row because it's just like Gordon Gano from Violent Femmes. Gives me hives. HOWEVER. This song is pretty ok.

Rolling Stone

I’m a little annoyed with Rolling Stone Magazine right now for two reasons: Their show, “I’m from Rolling Stone” and their latest cover featured here.

Have you seen the show? I don’t know if they realize it, and it could all be in the editing but it looks like they have the lamest group of writers interning for them and the expectations are not so high either. Maybe it’s the fundamental problem of trying to create a show about writing. I was really looking forward to watching this but it is really unnecessary.

The other problem I have is the photo on the cover of new guitar gods issue. How interesting that John Mayer, America’s favorite passive-aggressive pretty boy (see lyrics for “Waiting on the World to Change”) is front and center and the other guitarists are blocked from view. I bought this issue in the Dallas airport this weekend and held it up to my traveling companion. He didn’t even notice the other guitarists in the picture. Nothing against John Mayer (well, not in this case), but the article is supposed to be about ability and not looks, but the cover contradicts that. Maybe I’m the only one that didn’t buy it for John Mayer. As for their list of twenty new guitar heroes, I was surprised that Matt Bellamy from Muse wasn’t listed. An article I was very much looking forward to reading proved unmoving.

Come on Rolling Stone, this is unfortunate. Good concepts but poor execution. –J

Nostalgia at the Movies

The new Hugh Grant/Drew Barrymore movie, Music & Lyrics, is definitely a chick flick and would appeal to anyone who was an adolescent gal in the 80s. While K was a lover of metal in her youth, I embarrassingly gravitated to synth pop, mostly of the Brit variety. Being the baby of the family and always having to listen to my brothers’ music, this music was my own, no matter how crappy and dated some of the songs sound now.

Hugh Grant plays a very Andrew Ridgeley character, the unsuccessful half of Wham!, a favorite of mine back in the day. The character is now a has-been but is still living off of his former glory, playing high school reunions where grown women still flock to see his pelvic thrusts. These scenes were both hilarious and a little sad. There is also some commentary about the importance of a good pop song, has-been reality television shows, overtly sexy young singers, and manufactured versus more organic music. But of course, the scenes that got the most laughs were Hugh Grant’s band’s music video with Duran Duran outfits and 80’s hair. If you love Hugh Grant or that genre of music, you’ll love this. Others, probably not so much. --J

A Surprising Moment for 400

I was at my Volkswagen dealership yesterday getting my car serviced and overhead on the tv Jeopardy was on. MCR and Panic! At The Disco were questions for two respective answers. Weird. What was not weird was that the same guy knew both.

I couldn't resist adding a random picture of SNL's Celebrity Jeopardy! parody. Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery mispronounces categories, i.e., Therapists as The Rapists. W00-hoo! That shit is fun-nay! -K

Get Better, Luv

-K

Thnks Fr Nthn Spcl

Jay Z opens Fall Out Boy's latest Infinity on High with a triumph dedicated to all the critics who said this album couldn't happen. Who is he talking to? If Jay Z is your boss, then aren't you guaranteed to put out an album and be in EVERYONE's faces no matter if you're welcome or not? So, why the triumph? Why bother? I think it's to make the public think that there is some revolutionary countercultural thing about this body of work; that by listening to this album you're part of some special group telling someone to fuck off. Whatever. This album isn't bad, I happen to really like "I've Got This Ring…" and "Me & You", but as a complete body of work it's the farthest thing from unique or identifiable that I've come across in a while. If anything, this album proves to me that Fall Out Boy are suffering from an identity crisis by trying to reach too many people.
Infinity on High fuses drum tracks, keyboards, machine gun guitars, the whole "voice sounding like a vacuum" thing, a drum corps, and oh, Jay Z. Dear god- can you try to reach more people? And what's with sounding so much like Panic! At The Disco. The first album wasn't like this, was it? I realize their on your label, guys, but I was shocked how similar the vocals on "Hum Hallelujah," "Golden," and "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" were. Y'all, what's the deal? You look like you're trying to ride the Panic! wave and that's not a good thing. Panic! can do Panic! You can't and shouldn't. You're not androgynous or pretty enough to pull that kind of thing off!
J and I once had a discussion back when Fall Out Boy broke with "Sugar, We're Going Down" that this is not a band starting a trend; they're one that incorporates and perpetuates everything that is "now". Just take the track titles, for example. You've got the annoyingly long emo-like titles that are 25 words long, attempts at clever titles, then the one that I refer to above in text message-ese. Forget the titles, now. How is this cd going to guarantee a place in the annals of rock? Or, maybe who cares because they're laughing all the way to the bank? Tell you what, in my opinion, the band should thank their lucky stars every day Patrick Stump doesn't leave for something better. His vocals are the only thing keeping this band truly noteworthy these days.
Guys, stop being a pop culture's bitch. I expected more based on the media publicity train this album was on, no doubt thanks to whom you've been associated with in the business. However, in the end all I can say is that I don't hate it. It's good pop, but it's nothing to be proud of. -K

In My Humble Opinion

As you can see we finally got some snow in the Lou.

Okay, I half-watched the Grammys as I worked Sunday night. I just went to their website to look over the list of winners. I must make a few comments.

The Dixie Chicks won too many awards and Gnarls Barkley didn’t win enough. Don't take that as Chick-bashing, the album was okay.

I am surprised that Dani California won an award.

I love that Wolfmother won in the Hard Rock category.

I was moved by Mary J. Blige’s performance. It was truly her night.

Both Christina Aguilera and Beyonce’s performances were unnecessary.

Glad to see The Police on stage all smiles, ready to announce the world tour. --J

OUCH! DAYUMM YEW!

I was in my friend C's office Friday afternoon and the conversation turned to what we might do on Saturday night. We're two people that always talk about getting out at night together, but then never do. For some reason, this Saturday evening was special. I walked into my favorite Lebanese restaurant down in The Loop and was welcomed by C yelling my name from behind me. We hugged tightly. This would be a special occasion indeed.

We had been throwing around the idea of heading down to a tattoo shop down the road after dinner. C had an idea, but was not quite ready. I knew exactly what I wanted and produced the image from my purse. Our waiter, who had just shown us his brand new Russian prison tattoo, gave us the receipt for the dinner and we headed out into the cold, cold night.

When we walked into the studio, I signed up and waited for my name to be called. The overhead speaker was blasting The Who's "Teenage Wasteland" followed by "Pinball Wizard". C and I had a funny moment when while silently killing time looking at the stock selections we both sang "SURE PLAYED A MEAN PINBALL" in unison.

When my artist called me back and was ready to go he asked "are you nervous, little flower?" I dismissed the question, but dear god, yes I was. The real estate for the tattoo was in the small of my back and above my existing tattoo where my spine is super sensitive. I knew this was going to be a bitch to sit through. I still had no idea.

C sat in front of me and I grabbed her hand like I was giving birth the natural way. With every outline of every curve I grimaced and squeezed for dear life. C tried to talk to me, but I couldn't converse. I was too busy grinding my teeth. Also, why was the pretty girl next to us getting, of all things, an anchor tattooed on her stomach? I listened to C's stories of past conferences and tried my best to lose myself in her thoughts so that I could abandon my own physical pain, but it was futile. Finally, the artist stopped and said "ok, look- every time you wiggle I might screw this up. So, stop wiggling." I glanced at C and swallowed. This has to be perfect. So, I focused and stopped wiggling.

During the peak of the pain "Squeeze Box" played. The artist started singing along with "in and out and in and out". This was followed by C and me, practically nose to nose, singing with our best falsettos "squeeze me, come on and squeeze me/ Come on and tease me like you do/ I'm so in love with you." It helped. Singing this lyric truly helped.

Then it was over and the pain was gone. No endorphins kicked in during this session. Oh no. That would have been too easy. The pain was over when the session was over. Despite my "wiggling" the artist managed to create a perfect image. C and I looked at it, hugged each other and then burst into crazy laughter.

When it came time to call an end to the lovely evening, I smiled and really meant it. I had finally taken the next step and gotten that symbol that brings together two of my favorite things: love and metal. -K

Whew! I Almost Fell Out, Boy!

Last night Fall Out Boy performed "This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race" on Letterman. Though the guitars drowned him out slightly, I was amazed at Patrick's impressive vocals. Maybe I'm getting soft, but I didn't recoil when I saw them. In fact, I texted J to make sure she knew they would be on and she herself responded that she might watch. No matter how much I criticize, FOB will always be part of the Warped summer of 2005 for me. I can honestly admit that there was a time when they almost had me. 2007 is still young. Maybe this new album will sway me once again. -K

Prince Rocks the Half-Time Show

Prince proved that all you need for a good half-time show is a talented musician, a couple of backup dancers, and a marching band. I loved the fact that we weren’t subjected to an endless parade of so-so talents in the space of twelve minutes like we usually are. Less is more in that respect. Prince treated the audience to his Purple Rain-era hits like Let’s Go Crazy, Baby I’m a Star, Purple Rain, and also threw in Proud Mary, All Along the Watchtower, and Foo Fighter’s Best of You. --J

Kings of Leon Single

Hurry over to the Kings of Leon MySpace page to listen to On Call, their new single released yesterday. I love it, I love it, I love it. So far the only U.S. tour date announced is Coachella. --J

What the hell?

What the hell, MCR! No St. Louis date on the Black Parade tour? -K

Save this Show!

ABC's The Knights of Prosperity is not getting the ratings it needs to survive. We must save a show with a premise built on robbing Mick Jagger! I love this show. Every week there is some musical reference that cracks me up. In the third episode, Donal Logue, the leader of the crime organization, decides they must have a theme song. Check out the clip before it gets pulled from YouTube. --J

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1D46vJIVwo