I know that Marilyn Manson intends to shock me. I know that stomping onstage back in the early days with a bloody corset and thong that he wants you to notice him. Instead of being shocked I was someone who, no matter how bourgeois I am and was, have always found Marilyn Manson hilariously refreshing. He never scared me. I loved his horror-glam image and all of the commotion he caused with middle America. To be honest, as I stayed up writing papers I loved listening to his music. There was something so textured and theatrical about it. I found nothing wrong with him. I certainly didn't take him seriously enough to fear him. I didn't think that listening to his music would make me a Satanist. How could someone who sings about human relationships make me evil? Of course, I was not raised in a house that believed in Christianity or the evil characters in that institution so I have never felt a need to rebel against any kind of God. Satan means nothing to me. The only thing I fear are those people in this world that would think to carry out acts in the name of religion, whether it's the church of Satan or someone who is supposed to represent "good". If someone wants to worship the devil, as long as he's not hurting me or anybody else (or animals) then I have no quarrel with any of it. This life is a struggle and we all need something to help us make sense of it all. At the end of the day, I have to accept that I will never know what's out there until I get there. It's taken me years to really be ok with that, but that's where I am now. Anyhoo…
I can remember eating out at the TGIF's on University Drive and my waiter was clearly a member of the Huntsville subculture: black hair, tattoos, black attire. As he approached my table I noticed his flair: MM, NIN, and Misfits pins. Something which, even before seeing Office Space, I found funny. He had a cheery disposition, even jumping up and down to tell me that he was going to see MM soon. I remember thinking, aren't you supposed to be sullen if you're a "Goth?" Huntsville Goths seems extremely non-threatening to me. Perhaps without urban grit to keep them stern and isolated they tend to have an endearing quality of approachability and a sense of acceptance. Yeah, maybe typical of America, Goth and Punk and all that tends to be more of a fashion statement than anything else. I guess if you want real Goth you have to go to Germany where Christianity is not mainstream and if you want real Punk you have to go to London where you live on the street and shoot heroin. I don't claim to know. I'm just a suburban chick who spends too much time observing people and consuming shit with the money I make at a software company. As anyone who cares to read this blog knows, J and I tend to find many things about the south outstanding and when I told her the story of my waiter we both passed doting glances and smiled. "Hey, y'all! Chake me out, ahm Gawth!"
Where was I? Oh yes. MM. When he was scapegoated for Columbine I rolled my eyes. How could music truly cause anyone to do anything so vile? And how many times will humankind blame music for people being weak and fucked up? When I watched Michael Moore's documentary Bowling for Columbine I was impressed with MM's reaction to being asked what he would say to the killers if he could have spoken to them on the day of the shooting: "I wouldn't say a thing. I would just listen to them ... and that's what nobody did." I remember thinking that that made so much sense that it almost seemed wrong.
Don't get me wrong, I really hate the fact that lately he's been keen to criticize some of my favorite bands claiming they are poor imitations of him. I think others would agree that he seemed to be making an attempt to make the news during a lull in his career. I don't like artists talking shit about other artists trying to make their own mark on this world. Perhaps these artists don't imitate MM in such an effective way as he imitates Alice Cooper and David Bowie, but I wish he would shut up about all that.
Whatever. I picked up the latest Spin with MM on the cover and after reading the article I couldn't help but once again feel a strong connection with this lunatic who lives his life like one gigantic dada play. When you cut away the blood, the gore, the ego, and the absinthe, MM is just a hopeless romantic who craves that one person he can feel as one with. When you cut away the need for isolation, the neuroses, and the obsession with music and bands, I'm no different. How can you be an evil person when you want nothing in the world but to love and be loved? Aren't we all just trying to make the best of a shitty situation on this earth. As long as we don't intentionally hurt anyone in the process where is the sin?
I guess my point is MM shocks me like he does most of America though perhaps for different reasons. Despite the fact that I drown in my own consumerism and fear, I can't help but listen and understand when he has something to say. -K
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